One thing you may not know about me is that I am a very loud puker. I also almost never get sick. Last Winter however, I got a real bad virus for a few days and spent 2 or 3 days puking and shitting non-stop. Luckily my roommate Brendan was kind enough to record some of my puking. After Hatebreed heard my vocal skills via this video, they offered to let me fill in for Jamey Jasta on their next full length but I had to turn it down because I’m too busy running Surfing Beans.
Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Category
Loud Puking.
March 10th, 2010You’re Excluded From Chicken Cutlet Night.
January 25th, 2010
“From now on you excluded from the surf and turf night, you excluded from the ravioli night, you excluded from chicken cutlet night”
Ginger Vlog.
January 19th, 2010
South Park isn’t funny, red head jokes aren’t really funny and this kid is even less funny than both. It would have been so easy to make this funny too. I mean you’re fat, ugly and have a weird voice, pretty much anything you say could be LOL-worthy, but you still failed.
Guy Gets Glasses Tattooed On His Face.
January 13th, 2010
The only, only thing you can really think during this is just “WHY???” I’m pretty much down with tattoos anywhere besides the face. This is some next shit. I’ll spare you my list of possible reasons to get this sort of tattoo since I’m sure you guys will cover most of them in the comments.
Guest Blog: London Girl.
January 13th, 2010
So this is the first, of presumably many upcoming guest blogs here on Surfing Beans. I have many crazy stories, but this site won’t last forever just feeding off of my experiences, so I have reached out to some of my associates who have also lived exciting lives. My first story is from a friend of mine who will remain anonymous about a girl, and yes that really is her up there. Let me know what you think of this story in the comments too, thanks!
(more…)
Guy Passes Out Deadlifting.
January 11th, 2010
One thing I’m into, aside from BMX, Gucci Mane and ruining girl’s lives is lifting weights. Unfortunately, 90 percent of people who lift weights are the fucking worst. This guy embodies a few characteristics of why that’s the case. First, he has really shit form on the deadlift which is his problem, at least it doesn’t affect anyone else. Second, he drops the weight after lifting it which is rude, and stupid. Watch videos of any accomplished weight lifter on Youtube and you’ll see that they always place it down on the ground afterwards. Then he lets out an enraged scream to let you know how proud he is of his 329 pound lift (which, to be honest, and I know it’s impossible for this to come off as anything but a total brag, is not very impressive, I could deadlift a lot more than this within my first year of lifting weights and to put it in perspective there are dudes out there who deadlift 1000+ pounds). Then God shines down from heaven, winks at everyone and causes the guy to pass out, which isn’t even the best part, the best part is that he smacks his face on the dumbbell rack and starts to have a seizure. That’s what I call justice. Congratulations anonymous deadlifter, you are a dork.
UPDATE: Fixed the link, it should work now.
Obama E-Pills.
January 11th, 2010
I’ve never surfed a bean (despite the name of this site) but if I were to, I’d definitely be surfing an Obama. Whoever invented these is a fucking genius, even people with no interest in drugs would take these things just for the lulz.
Racist Taco Bell Commercial.
January 11th, 2010
Most of this past week on Surfing Beans has been spent humiliating horrible girls, well one horrible girl at least. Let’s move on to another important thing: racism. Racism is wrong. And it sucks when you see a company like Taco Bell put out a commercial like this that blatantly promotes it. Shame.
The Desiree Story Part 2.
January 9th, 2010
Last time I ended the story with the idea that I might have actually developed feelings for this girl, but it’s not that simple.
NOTE: She’s been harassing me asking me to remove the original entry. Sorry, no dice. But, I removed her last name from the initial entry and didn’t include it in this one. I don’t feel bad about telling the story of our time together, but I would feel a little bad about her future employers reading these blogs when Googling her name.
A Drawing Examined.
January 7th, 2010
Above is a photo I drew earlier today. I found myself kinda bored, laying on Mike Mastroni’s bed (not in a gay way) and I saw an empty Lotek box and a sharpie so I went to work.
(more…)
